Gawd I feel like a fat piece of shit. I really need to do something with myself.
I have never loved someone the way I love you I have never seen a smile like yours or laughed as hard I do. It scares me to know you love me as much as you do.
My moments of weakness, they now seem visible to those I am close with.
They know that something is wrong, but I can’t seem to put my finger on what really is the problem.
Perhaps it’s you.
Maybe it was always you…
Maybe we are meant to be… (as crazy as that sounds)
Maybe my unhappiness is pulling me down into the disrepair which I find myself in,
It is you, you which I need.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
To keep ones heart safe is not to love at all.
I thought I was going to be okay, but I’m not. And I know you’re not either. Fuck.
I love you, I still do. But we can’t be together.
And for that I am truly sorry, my love.
It makes it hard to know that I’ve let you down.
You’ve lost all faith and trust in me. I know you hurt still. I do too.
I want to try and work though this and just be us again.
The amazing couple we always were.
I miss you. <3
I just wanted to hold you in my arms.
It’s such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard.
You are the only exception.
I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for you.
And I never knew I could feel that much.
And thats the way I loved you.